Single by choice: The strength in walking alone
Being single is smarter is smarter than being in wrong relationship.
~ Unknown
This morning I found myself in a deep skeptical discussion with one of my close friend, about the true significance of deeper connection in relationships. And whether these profound bonds are essential in the modern world.
It had just a podcast like vibe, we went into thought provoking conversation. Just coffee was missing, We had talk about the important of the connection, when we are in between your 20s to 30s, we usually come across enough experience of dating to understand people on deeper level. And during those times we missed out the important aspects of being together with someone to understand them and validate their feelings, while running after casual relationships and fun. furthermore i would like to mention here key aspects of our fruitful conversations.
Why does connection matter in a relationship?
It’s very similar to finding a close friend when you are going through a hard time, and at the same time your partner also needs you to express her feelings and the tough time she is going through. And when you have that connection she could laugh without any reason, stuff that ongoing between are senseless, sometimes with humor, and that cry of silly mistakes. That makes relationship stronger.
The important role of becoming backbone for each other. The basic function of the back bone is to provide support to the body. Similarly, being present for one another during challenging times matters a lot and makes huge difference as well.
Difficult times often stem from larger issues that are out of our control, such as the ongoing issues with the economy or the recent drought. These types of events cause not only financial hardship, but also relationship tension.
Here are some key ideas:
Be supportive to one another. High stress or long term stress is easy to overlook and, as a result, your loving relationship can slip away before you know it.
Learning to manage stress positively is an important step to maintain healthy relationships.
Recognize stress symptoms and sources and help each other to reduce some of the stressful effects.
Have a positive attitude. In times of stress, conflict and negative thoughts and interactions can easily arise.
John Gottman, a psychologist and researcher at the University of Washington found that healthy and happy relationships involve five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. Really happy relationships have an even greater number of positive interactions as compared to negative interactions.
Too much negativity makes relationships unstable. Positive interactions may include being affectionate, truly listening to each other, sharing joy and interests, validating feelings, etc.
It is not always easy to be positive when dealing with difficulties; however, research has found that keeping a positive attitude is one of the most important skills for making a relationship strong.
Good listening skills matter a lot. Sometimes we feel like, oh everything is going well? And we are really supportive of each other!
But, what recent article suggests is -
Being supportive does not mean doing anything for your partner that makes us uncomfortable. It doesn’t also necessarily mean that we need to try and solve other people’s issues. Part of being supportive is to be really present and a good listener, to not constantly stand in judgment and actually have a sincere and caring disposition.
Living life in the world and in these times is challenging. Having that one special person in their corner can make all the difference in their world, and yours…
Apply The Gentle Approach. You must understand that everyone processes their emotions differently and at their own pace. Be patient and give them the time they need to open up.
Patience is necessary if we are to see the best in each other. It’s needed to keep our relationship meaningful and inspiring. In fact, if one isn’t making a conscious effort to learn to appreciate their loved one more every day — taking time to seriously consider his or her needs — they can’t expect their relationship to grow. More often than not, such a relationship loses its joy and meaning. A valuable and essential connection is lost. And without help, it is a very difficult bond to regain.
Aristotle once said that patience is a bitter thing, but that the fruit of it is sweet. The truth is we have to work at cultivating our relationships if they are to bear fruit. In the beginning of a relationship we are inclined to love because of someone’s best qualities and learn to love them, in spite of their worst. However, a lack of patience not only masks someone’s best qualities, but also makes it impossible to tolerate their worst.
Get out of phones and talk to each other. What I noticed these days around me is when you are together with your girl, you are not really mentally with her, if both of you are just stuck inside your phone, there is no good communication, so no understanding. And in the end you will feel vulnerable and not paying enough attention to your emotions, be together but with mentality and physically both.
Avoid too much exposure on social media. You must need to understand this. Your life must be validated by you, not any people around you, it’s basically you are advertising your relationship by showing them you are really happy, even though you might not.
That’s just giving you a false sense of security but it’s a trap of insecurity. What really matters is your happiness and validation of each other’s feelings.
During a 2021 study at Prince Sattam bin Abdulaziz University in Saudi Arabia, researchers found that more than half (59%) of the 300 participants reported prolonged use of social media had impacted their social interactions, negatively affecting family relationships and friendships while also making face-to-face communication more difficult. However, the study consisted only of students who identified as female aged 17–29 years, so more research is necessary.
Excessive social media use can negatively impact quality time, create conflict, and reduce relationship satisfaction — whether the relationship is romantic or not.
During a 2021 study, researchers used Instagram and the app’s time-tracking capability to learn more about the connection between social media and relationship satisfaction.
They found an increase in Instagram usage led to a decrease in relationship satisfaction and an increase in conflict and negative outcomes. Furthermore, the dissatisfaction, conflict, and negative outcomes triggered an addictive use of Instagram.
On the flipside, making daily sacrifices for the relationship partner had a positive effect on relationship satisfaction and decreased the likelihood of conflict and negative outcomes.
Wrapping all words together, it makes more sense when you have understood the value of a real relationship, and jumping into it by holding hands, with some promises that you made, with unspoken smiles and teary eyes.
Until then, IT’S TOTALLY OKAY TO BE A SINGLE!!
Reference:-
https://www.keithflynn.com.au/the-importance-of-supporting-each-other-in-a-relationship/
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/social-media-and-relationships#negative-effects
https://extension.unl.edu/statewide/dodge/Strengthen%20CoupleRelationsMarch13.pdf
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